“Wassup?”

This week brought us 3 school orientations for what will be our last year in the public school system. If nothing else came from those 3 tortures hours our decision to home school was solidified. It was appalling to walk the halls of a middle school. The brash language and skimpy clothing was more than we expected. But we have covered modesty already haven’t we?  

But is more than modesty – it’s the culture of today. A culture where manners disappeared, the English language has devolved from “how are you?” to “wassuup?” and we’re not just talking about the students. How lazy of a society have we become that we feel the need to shorten the word “hello” to simply “yo”?

All this starts in the home but is fostered by our media and schools. It is fostered by the entertainment industry where it is now somehow cool to act as if you cannot speak correctly and keep your pants around your knees… Parents accept these stereotypical roles and use them as excuses for failure instead of breaking the mold and striving to be better. This is another byproduct of the destruction of families and absence of fathers. Cohabitation, divorce, sexual depravity, and faithlessness; what are they really getting us?  

Reward is no longer contingent on success, it is a given for just showing up – it is expected for just existing. Everyone gets a trophy even if no one tries…

 “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.”

~Colossians 3:23

Is "good enough" good enough?

Stay at home moms yearn for the end of summer break, dreaming of that moment when all the kids walk out the door to the bus and screaming “Alleluia” as it slams shut behind them. But out there is a special breed of parents, one that has always been peculiar to us – the Homeschooler… That one word seems to invoke fear in all who hear it – including us. But why? Not why do we quiver at the thought of spending 24 hours a day with our children – we certainly understand that! The question in our minds quickly turned to “what is wrong with them; why do they choose to put themselves through such insanity??”

So we set out to answer these questions, leaning on some friends with experience and of course the great World Wide Web that can never be wrong. We read hundreds of statistics and studies… many of which were above our public school education level. Our search for knowledge isn’t over, but it didn’t take long to realize the real question is “What’s wrong with us? How can we rant about societies corruption and dismal morals and they place our children at their mercy?” Not any easy pill to swallow really… Our education system is failing, most logical people will admit that – is that good enough for our kids?

For the last 7 years we have had children in public schools that have span 4 states and included 6 different schools. We have had our ups and downs with the public education system. Some teachers have been great others, well, there is no charitable way to put it so we will let it go… Despite all the ups and downs, it was always “good enough.” That was our mindset… “Good enough.” How bad could it be… we did alright (well one of us did, the other one is questionable… we will leave it to you to figure out which one).

It is amazing what children have to go through in the public school system. We have already had to deal with a number of bullies and mean kids on the bus. AT was in the gifted program and his grades still dropped because he was bored. We’ve watched our daughters self-esteem drop with the entering into middle school. They are learning about things like contraception and the normalization of homosexuality – all at the ripe old age of 9. We have fought to get accommodations for JA, who has a learning disability and ADHD. Trying to get all those accommodations transferred over when we PCS will be even harder.  Even the little things like the school lunches, the equivalent to eating a can of lard, are not adequate and to our surprise, we could not get them to offer Lent friendly means... We also know that when we PCS next year that finding a good school in a good neighborhood will be difficult. In the public school system it has definitely been an uphill battle.

With the new question in our minds and armed with the facts; (not just jokes we always made up about homeschooled children) we were confronted with a choice… They kids surprisingly jumped at the idea. They were over the moon excited. AT just didn’t want to have to eat the school lunches.

We have no romantic fantasies that homeschooling 6 children, one of them a teenager, will be easy. As a matter of fact, we are certain it will require some degree of professional counseling and a great deal of alcohol… We are fully prepared to enter AA when this is all through. There will be sacrifices that will need to be made on all parts. Our life will change as we know it, but we are ready for that change – and maybe we need the change. It isn’t for everyone, and just like discerning any major family decision each family has to make the choice for themselves; but it is imperative to do so on a properly formed conscience. As for us, we are ready to take the responsibility of educating our children instead of leaving it to strangers; most of which don’t share the values we share. We are ready to bring our family closer, maybe too close. So when we PCS in June, schools will not need to be one of our qualifications for a house. We will be official homeschoolers… Time to stock up on some beer!

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

~Proverbs 22:6

Hanna Montana vs Miley Cyrus

With school shopping well under way we are once again facing the ever diminishing concept of modesty in today’s society. We are not even sure where to begin with this one, but we are sure you all have seen it – whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. Who wants their 12 year old to dress like a hooters waitress? Obviously most of today’s society, because that is all you can buy these days. It’s not just the older kids either, bathing suits this year were atrocious!

We often debate the why of it all but really is there a good reason to have a 9 year old dress like Britney Spears? And then we wonder why teen sex rates are up and women are objectified; families degraded. It is because we have reduced young women to vain materialist all under the guise of feminism and empowerment. Let’s be honest though, there is nothing empowering about dressing like a harlot in the 6^th grade. It is astonishing that we live in a society when Victoria Secretes has a tween line with “Call Me” printed across the bottom… Who the hell is going to be reading that?!?!?

As parents, we have to wonder what is driving this market. Are there really that many parents that are so disengaged? How can we be okay with this as a society? How can we be okay with forcing our young women into the grown-up world at such young ages? News flash, this is a consumer driven market – they make it because you buy it. If a child needs to dress “sexy” to feel pretty or good – it’s a parenting failure, fix that instead. Hey, great idea... let's glorify sex on TV, dress our kids provocatively and then give them birth control to take away any responsibility... How's that working for America?!?! Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana – how do you want your daughter seen?

Modesty – what a wonderful concept. It is about self-respect. It protects and preserves the mystery of love – it upholds the sanctity of sexuality. It truly is the epitome of empowerment.

 So off the soap box, back to school shopping… Two things we have learned this year – Kids will pick what is “in” not what is appropriate. It is the same as if we let them choose what is for dinner – it would be ice cream every time… They don’t get to pick. Sometimes Mom and Dad do know best. Secondly, if you take Dad, be prepared to hear the modesty discussion over and over again, to the point where you just want to buy a burka to shut him up!

Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires one's choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.

CCC -2522

“Did they all come out of your body?”

So today was the epitome of catholic chaos… As I ventured out of the house today – 6 kids in tow – I said a quick prayer for patience and of course that the lady at Starbucks would get my order right the first time. I have no doubt that God heard both my pleas and laughed uncontrollably. But despite the humor of it all, the adventure begins – grocery shopping. Of course it went as expected. 15 minutes in, 2 screaming babies. 25 minutes in, 3 screaming babies. 40 minutes in, I may have lost a baby… but I would never admit it. In my defense, she found a nice hiding place behind the sugar on the bottom shelf. Quite clever for a 3 year old.

Now, about half way though, my grocery list became a paper airplane when I was counting the tomatoes and the other patrons didn’t appreciate grocery cart bumper cars so I hastily headed to checkout as soon as I was close enough to done ( 2 ½ hours!). Cranky, hungry, and well past my nap time I was ready to concede defeat. As I approached checkout, I was greeted by the kind lady with what that look “Tweety Bird” gets when a “Sylvester” runs into the wall. If the look wasn’t enough, she quickly exclaimed “Did they all come out of your body!?” Now I really wish my mind was working better at the moment; because there are countless replies running through my head at this moment – many of which would have been very uncharitable. But I settled with “No, just picked up a few random ones on my way to store.” She didn’t say too much after that, I don’t think she appreciated the humor in the response…

Needless to say it was a long morning, followed by sweeping, mopping, some homework, and dishes. As I look forward to a nice relaxing evening it was quickly dashed by the realization that today is the “Feast of the Assumption of our Blessed Mother.” I don’t intend to marginalize the significance of today and our Holy Mother. It was not the celebration of this important day that dashed my fantasy of a blissful night – it was the realization that I had to once again venture out of the house with my 6 children. To make matters worse, it was at 7 pm… just before bedtime! Not a good combination at all. But off to church we go…

It didn’t take long for things to get interesting… baby crying, little ones restless. Fighting over crayons and stickers. Singing as loud as possible during the readings. It was all out Chaos, and with them came an overabundance of “looks”. Not the pity looks you would expect, more like the “why don’t you shut that kid up?” look. Just what I needed to end an otherwise chaotic day. Now that the story is out of the way, here is my rant for the day…

When did kids become the new bubonic plague? Although I am often impressed that some of the folks we encounter can count to 6, I can’t figure out their need to count them twice as we walk by. When did 6 kids become so taboo? We live in a society where having 6 cars is more acceptable than having 6 kids. Buying a 7 figure house is normal – expected – but 6 kids is “crazy”. A society where were we have a greater concern for our retirement than the legacy we leave within our children. Sad to say the least. It is indicative of the “me” culture that we live in today. The same culture that has normalized killing the unborn for convenience and sex is just an instrument of pleasure. A culture where we redefine nature for our own gratification. It’s not just sad, it’s deplorable. I will conclude this rant with one final thought… at the age of 80, I may be living a meager life – but I will be doing so with more blessings than there is gold in Fort Knox (is there really gold there?). As for today’s Chaos – I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. Between all the shouting, crying, and headaches there were moments of pure joy that would have never occurred otherwise. Like during mass – MA (keep in mind she is 3) asked where God was. I quickly told her he is all around us and watches us from heaven. She quickly responded by jumping down and looking under the pew exclaiming “where is He, I can’t see Him?” That was followed by her sticking her tongue out… “Can He see me do this?” A moment we won’t soon forget….

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

~Psalm 127:3-5

The joy of the unknown…

We have all had those moments of apprehension – where we hesitate, even if just for a second, because we don’t know what is around the corner. Everyone – especially parents – can recall the great stress that the unknown or significant change can create. But let’s talk about the unknown just for a bit… before we go too far into it, however I think it is only fair that we stress the name of this blog Catholic Chaos.

So why do we fear the unknown? Why do we fear change? We (well really Danyelle) could write a thesis on the psychological side and as an added bonus you all would quickly drift to sleep. We will do our best to avoid that, but it is important to recognize that in most cases there are some things happening in the brain that can’t be helped (for most people at least, we know a few whose brains no long function too much). There are things that cannot be helped but for the most part, the misery surrounding such change and unknown is one we create. We fear that make believe a three-headed spider monkey on the other side of the door. In our minds the world is still flat and if we walk through that door we will fall off the face of the earth. We tremble because we feel that the little green troll will destroy all we know if we venture too far from our hovel. We only have to look to our kids to understand the ridiculousness of it all…

Why is it when we tell our three year old to jump into the deep end of the pool she smiles as she plunges? Why is it when we ask our 7 year old to take off her life jacket (she refuses to learn to swim) she shows no hesitation as she sinks like a rock? We can say it is due to their lack of life experience or understanding of the world around them – but we would offer another explanation.

They trust – they trust that their parents will not lead them astray or let them sink all the way to the bottom. And if they were to sink, they trust that their parents will quickly lift them back to solid ground. When we call them to act, they act (which can be quite amusing at times). They turn to their parents… why can’t we do the same? Why can’t we turn to Our Father in the same way our kids trust us? In a world full of Chaos, it is all too easy to forego our faith for the sake of control and comfort. We refuse to look past material things and the safety of the known to follow the road that He has laid out for us. Our children can be an example to us to turn our hearts to the Father that loves us beyond worldly understanding. The joy of the unknown, of change, is that it brings us closer to Him if we are only willing to have faith and trust that Our Father will bring us back up to solid ground if we begin to sink.

Now with that said, we just received the list of open positions for our upcoming transfer and it is not what we were expecting. Once we are done beating back the three-headed spider monkey we will offer this to Him and follow the path that will undoubtedly bring us more joyous chaos…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

-Jeremiah 29:11