“Did they all come out of your body?”

So today was the epitome of catholic chaos… As I ventured out of the house today – 6 kids in tow – I said a quick prayer for patience and of course that the lady at Starbucks would get my order right the first time. I have no doubt that God heard both my pleas and laughed uncontrollably. But despite the humor of it all, the adventure begins – grocery shopping. Of course it went as expected. 15 minutes in, 2 screaming babies. 25 minutes in, 3 screaming babies. 40 minutes in, I may have lost a baby… but I would never admit it. In my defense, she found a nice hiding place behind the sugar on the bottom shelf. Quite clever for a 3 year old.

Now, about half way though, my grocery list became a paper airplane when I was counting the tomatoes and the other patrons didn’t appreciate grocery cart bumper cars so I hastily headed to checkout as soon as I was close enough to done ( 2 ½ hours!). Cranky, hungry, and well past my nap time I was ready to concede defeat. As I approached checkout, I was greeted by the kind lady with what that look “Tweety Bird” gets when a “Sylvester” runs into the wall. If the look wasn’t enough, she quickly exclaimed “Did they all come out of your body!?” Now I really wish my mind was working better at the moment; because there are countless replies running through my head at this moment – many of which would have been very uncharitable. But I settled with “No, just picked up a few random ones on my way to store.” She didn’t say too much after that, I don’t think she appreciated the humor in the response…

Needless to say it was a long morning, followed by sweeping, mopping, some homework, and dishes. As I look forward to a nice relaxing evening it was quickly dashed by the realization that today is the “Feast of the Assumption of our Blessed Mother.” I don’t intend to marginalize the significance of today and our Holy Mother. It was not the celebration of this important day that dashed my fantasy of a blissful night – it was the realization that I had to once again venture out of the house with my 6 children. To make matters worse, it was at 7 pm… just before bedtime! Not a good combination at all. But off to church we go…

It didn’t take long for things to get interesting… baby crying, little ones restless. Fighting over crayons and stickers. Singing as loud as possible during the readings. It was all out Chaos, and with them came an overabundance of “looks”. Not the pity looks you would expect, more like the “why don’t you shut that kid up?” look. Just what I needed to end an otherwise chaotic day. Now that the story is out of the way, here is my rant for the day…

When did kids become the new bubonic plague? Although I am often impressed that some of the folks we encounter can count to 6, I can’t figure out their need to count them twice as we walk by. When did 6 kids become so taboo? We live in a society where having 6 cars is more acceptable than having 6 kids. Buying a 7 figure house is normal – expected – but 6 kids is “crazy”. A society where were we have a greater concern for our retirement than the legacy we leave within our children. Sad to say the least. It is indicative of the “me” culture that we live in today. The same culture that has normalized killing the unborn for convenience and sex is just an instrument of pleasure. A culture where we redefine nature for our own gratification. It’s not just sad, it’s deplorable. I will conclude this rant with one final thought… at the age of 80, I may be living a meager life – but I will be doing so with more blessings than there is gold in Fort Knox (is there really gold there?). As for today’s Chaos – I wouldn’t trade a minute of it. Between all the shouting, crying, and headaches there were moments of pure joy that would have never occurred otherwise. Like during mass – MA (keep in mind she is 3) asked where God was. I quickly told her he is all around us and watches us from heaven. She quickly responded by jumping down and looking under the pew exclaiming “where is He, I can’t see Him?” That was followed by her sticking her tongue out… “Can He see me do this?” A moment we won’t soon forget….

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

~Psalm 127:3-5

The joy of the unknown…

We have all had those moments of apprehension – where we hesitate, even if just for a second, because we don’t know what is around the corner. Everyone – especially parents – can recall the great stress that the unknown or significant change can create. But let’s talk about the unknown just for a bit… before we go too far into it, however I think it is only fair that we stress the name of this blog Catholic Chaos.

So why do we fear the unknown? Why do we fear change? We (well really Danyelle) could write a thesis on the psychological side and as an added bonus you all would quickly drift to sleep. We will do our best to avoid that, but it is important to recognize that in most cases there are some things happening in the brain that can’t be helped (for most people at least, we know a few whose brains no long function too much). There are things that cannot be helped but for the most part, the misery surrounding such change and unknown is one we create. We fear that make believe a three-headed spider monkey on the other side of the door. In our minds the world is still flat and if we walk through that door we will fall off the face of the earth. We tremble because we feel that the little green troll will destroy all we know if we venture too far from our hovel. We only have to look to our kids to understand the ridiculousness of it all…

Why is it when we tell our three year old to jump into the deep end of the pool she smiles as she plunges? Why is it when we ask our 7 year old to take off her life jacket (she refuses to learn to swim) she shows no hesitation as she sinks like a rock? We can say it is due to their lack of life experience or understanding of the world around them – but we would offer another explanation.

They trust – they trust that their parents will not lead them astray or let them sink all the way to the bottom. And if they were to sink, they trust that their parents will quickly lift them back to solid ground. When we call them to act, they act (which can be quite amusing at times). They turn to their parents… why can’t we do the same? Why can’t we turn to Our Father in the same way our kids trust us? In a world full of Chaos, it is all too easy to forego our faith for the sake of control and comfort. We refuse to look past material things and the safety of the known to follow the road that He has laid out for us. Our children can be an example to us to turn our hearts to the Father that loves us beyond worldly understanding. The joy of the unknown, of change, is that it brings us closer to Him if we are only willing to have faith and trust that Our Father will bring us back up to solid ground if we begin to sink.

Now with that said, we just received the list of open positions for our upcoming transfer and it is not what we were expecting. Once we are done beating back the three-headed spider monkey we will offer this to Him and follow the path that will undoubtedly bring us more joyous chaos…

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

-Jeremiah 29:11

A visit from Randy…

So today we find a need to abandon the epic hyena battle till a later time to share today’s revelation. This is a revelation that we have all heard before – yet we shake our heads senselessly when we revisit it later down the road. But instead of just putting it out there, let’s paint the picture…

This morning, AT awakes to some pain in his foot. Eager to use this to get out of chores he runs down the stairs to show it off. To our amazement; he the gross appendage quickly made us believe in Bigfoot. It was swollen to twice its size, earning him the name “club foot” for the day. Needless to say, mom was concerned and called for a doctor’s appointment; which to our amazement she was able to get. Unfortunately for mom, dad was in meetings all day so she would be venturing out on her own with a crew of 6. The horror quickly became panic as mom realized that her driver’s license had expired. Now to be honest, these things don’t sneak up on you – but it is a known fact that with each kid you lose a few brain cells – and with 6…. Well the math doesn’t work in her favor.

Anyway, what to do next. Mom calls dad, who rearranges his schedule the best he can. How accommodating that he is willing to drop mom off at the doctors between meetings and will pick her up when he is done. Not the answer mom was hoping for, but it isn’t the first time they have made things work in less than ideal situations. So off to the doctors they venture, 6 kids, a stroller, and one very large foot! As they sit there awaiting the doctor in an overly small room with an overly large brood of children a wonderful voice interrupts the imagined silence “Code red, building 2, second floor”. A curious look proceeds the quick realization that the doctor’s office is in building 2. The all-powerful OZ comes back on to say “Do not use fire exits to evacuate.” Now, mom and 6 babies are still seated in a room the size of a shoebox – becoming more and more fearful each time the mysterious voice shouts out a cryptic message. Finally the suspense is too much and mom swings open the door to be met with: “Don’t worry ma’am, it is only a fire – we will come back to get you if we need to evacuate.” All mom hears is “Go back to your shoebox and pray the fire does not consume you.” Moments later the young man returns a little more frazzled to start the evacuation. 6 kids, a stroller, and one extremely large foot making their way down the stairs. If you cannot quite picture it, imagine a 3 legged pack mule carrying a golf cart down a mountain. Not a pretty site by any means.

With the extreme hope that some strong young man would take pity and assist her, mom begins the journey downward. The pity never comes and yet the evacuation is a success. A head count commences with everyone present – including the extra-large foot which is now large enough to name – and name it we did. We will miss “Randy the clubfoot” when he is gone… Anyway the fire is now out, and everyone is allowed back in. The story progresses in a seemingly normal fashion. AT has a bad case of poison ivy… leading to an hour at the pharmacy waiting for the prescription. Mom make the much need phone call to dad – “Come save me…” which was only met by a silent hesitation. The meeting was going to run over… way over… 6 kids and Randy now impatiently await… Now anyone with kids knows that after 2 ½ hours at the doctor’s office, one kid is going to drive you crazy. Still waiting as the Doctors exit the hospital for the day… you can see the grim smirks as they all silently walk by. The phrase “better you than me” is written all over their faces. It may not have been said, but in this moment of misery it was all that could be seen. Finally – 3 ½ hours at the hospital and the chariot arrives. We wish that was the end of the adventurous day, but in a desperate hope to salvage a day of utter Chaos, we venture to Pizza Hut on the way home. Bad idea! One drink of the so called soda was all we could take! Dad promptly cancelled our order as everyone gagged on what was supposed to be a refreshing drink. It is only speculation, but we are almost certain that a skunk died in the soda machine. The taste still lingers in my mouth.  Now off we go now, well past dinner time to continue our horrific adventure. Off to the next restaurant to see what else can go wrong. Luckily, some semblance of sanity was salvaged by a pleasant dinner.  

Now back to this revelation – the lesson for today:

 God certainly does have a sense of humor and He chooses the best times to remind us! Today we were left with one of two options – wallow in our misery (which admittedly was the first approach) or thank the Lord above for all the headaches He has blessed us with – even Randy. For without Randy and the Chaos of the day, there would not have been the laughter at dinner tonight.

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:2-3

 

Fending off the Hyenas… Part 1

Picture this: a marble floor shining so bright you can eat off it, elegant red curtains with gold trim covering and china fit for royalty. Priceless paintings hung surrounding a long banquet table.  Every chair is full with napkins on laps. Plates and silverware are neatly arranged as the sounds of Grace fills the air. As I open my eyes, the fantasy is dashed by a pack of hungry hyenas pouncing on prey. The incoherent chatter – or perhaps banter – drowns out the picturesque dream world I was once in. It is a dash for survival; who can assert their dominance – who is the leader of the pack? Is it the strongest or swiftest? It’s not unheard of to hear someone shout from the other room “the baby is naked on the table again!” as we make the final meal preparations – and it is likely followed by an exchange of desperate looks as we silently shout “Not it!” to one another with a quick glance. Loser gets to chase the naked baby down and try to get her dressed before the meatloaf hits the table. Not that we keep track, but I think mom has the best time so far.

The reality is that there are so many movements in life where God has seen fit to test our patience – meal time is just one of the many. Despite the 30 minutes or so of back and forth it is all forgotten as the final battle ensues - it is the battle that always brings a smile to our faces: who gets to start Grace. More often than not, family dinners are a challenge leading up to the ultimate conquering moment when we realize for a brief moment we must be doing something right. It is the euphoric glow as EG reminds the rest of the table that we haven’t said grace yet (and MA quickly drops her fork and hides he squirrel cheeks full of green beans). The Chaos is abated just as quickly as it began by the acknowledgment of the Lords gifts. Not just those on the table, but those we have been blessed with as parents. The 6 gifts that surround the table – hands outstretched to one another.

“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”  

(1 Corinthians 10:31)

 

Welcome to our Chaos...

Before we get to know each other, we want to first explain the reason for starting this blog. There is no lack of personal opinions on the web these days – and there certainly no lack of advice on any given subject. That’s not what we are about. We don’t intend to brag about our perfect life or offer any profound wisdom to live your life by. We can’t even offer you our “2 cents” because we just spent it on diapers.

We are here, not for you, but for us – and God willing, someone else can take something away from our accounts of perfect chaos – of our Catholic chaos. This is just as much a tool to keep us on track as it is to share some humorous antidotes of a real life imperfect family struggling to stay in God’s grace despite the challenges of the world today. This isn't written by him or her, it is written by us - so be prepared for a less than PC discussion from time to time. We are married with 6 almost perfect children, who did everything the wrong way to get where we are today. You will learn more about out disregard for the norm if you stay with us any amount of time. But where are we today?

Married for 11 years with 6 children – if you are not already shaking your head in sympathy you should be. KR; our oldest daughter, will be turning 13 this year and drama that ensues would be enough for a dedicated blog in its self. AT; our first son, will be 10 this year. JE, daughter number 2, will be turning 8 – MA, daughter number 3 is 3 – EG will be 2, and our youngest and second son, ZD was born this year. I use initials only because, sure enough we intend to embarrass them beyond belief here – because let’s face it, where there are kids, there is chaos.

As you can guess, we are proud Catholics but that wasn’t always the case. We both came into full communion with the Church in 2011. We will discuss that journey more along the way. Welcome to our Chaos…